Ask Sam: Style Still Counts

“I like New York in June. How about you?”asks the romantic Cole Porter tune.

I like it just fine thanks. Happy to finally thaw out from the winter. Was it the abnormally tough, cold and Sandy wind blown year? The non-existent spring? Have we simply lost our sense of romance? I’m hoping that the warm weather restores our sense of play.

Spring in New York has always been a lovely time of year. It recalls romantic comedies with well dressed people saying clever things on a bench in Central Park or a roof top somewhere and friendly, good natured tongue in cheek flirtations in the work place as office romances bloom like tulips. The darkness lifts and our hearts warm like dewy crocuses in the morning sun. Ah spring! But not this year it seems. Perhaps we simply have not had the time to warm up to the idea, resulting in our approach being as abrupt as the summer heat.

Recently, when asked for directions by a tourist from the middle of nowhere, I welcomed her to NY and asked how she liked it here. “It’s not like in the movies.” She drawled. Her sneakers, baggy T-shirt, ill fitting shorts and left over from the 70′s feathered do certainly not adding to the panorama. Sadly I had to agree.

A friend told me a story of the most effective, most original pick up he had ever seen. He was at a large “U” shaped bar. Next to him sat a man who had caught the eye of a woman on the other side of the bar. On a napkin he drew a tic tac toe board with an “x” in the middle. He wrote, “Your move” next to it, tipped the bartender and had him send it over. It worked like a charm!  Originality, a sense of humor, style in your physical presentation and delivery, matter.

If successful in seduction what’s going to happen between the sheets is the inevitable end result. If you’re lucky, that too will be interesting and enjoyable, but the game of getting there is what juicy stories, and movies are made of. The challenge, the game of wits, the flirting, the anticipation….that’s the aphrodisiac. I’m sorry but a text that reads, “Hey” simply doesn’t do it for me.

A client of mine recently expressed that as a young man, courting was pretty lack luster, especially when the pursued parties seem to prefer to text than speak. Sadly, they are missing all the good stuff. Engaging in complete sentences, the sparkling of the eyes, body language and the intonation of voice. Sigh.

Please, men of New York, do not give up! Take back the joy of the dance, reclaim romanticism.  Suit up to win and come get us!  Rescue us from predictability. Surprise us, make our hearts flutter again. Come on, sweep us off our feet, I dare you!….. ladies,
now that I’ve rattled the cages get ready!

I’m not asking you to whip out your plume and write us a sonnet, but style still counts.